Yes. I believe in Allah. Just that, It's that time of the month you know? Us girls.. And I really hate it. I want to pray.. Cry in my Sujud. Tell Him all my problems. I know I can do it now. But it's just not the same.. Without the prayer mat, my praying kit and my aboloution.
I do not know what is the ultimate cause of it. But I do know one thing. No, I don't. Do I? No. I just need an answer. Shout at the top of my lungs, cry, plead. Anything. Just, an answer! Dear lump in my heart, can you please go away? I do not like your presence. And tummy, can you please stop twisting and turning? Just stay still and do your thing, i.e digestion.
This blog has been abandon for quite awhile. My absence no longer need an explanation. Usually blogging helps me realize what my problems are or at the very lease at ease.. I just feel so insecure and sad.
But at times like this is when I really remember Allah an his Messenger.. It's when I wish, I am not in this century. Instead, with Rasulullah PBUH listening to His words, His voice, looking at His face. Subhanallah. I would really want that.. Wow. Typing that made me feel really good. Masya'Allah. The load feels lighter! Miracle! I'm NOT lying! Subhanallah!!
Innaallaha wa Malaikatahu Yush'olluhna 'Alan Nabi. Ya Ayyuhal lathi(z)na amanu, shollu'alaihi wa Sallimu taslima.. Allahumma sholli wa sallim wa barik 'alaik wa 'ala alih..
Allahumma sholli, wa sallim 'ala, Sayyidin wa habibi, wa shohbibi qalbi wa jasadi wa ruhi, Sayyidi Rasulillah, Muhammad ibni 'abdillah, ashodiqil amin, wa 'ala alihi washohbihi ajama'in..
:') Maybe this load was place on me so that I would not forget Him and Rasulullah PBUH. Maybe I have been to oblivious. I forgot him. And this is reminding me of him. Subhanallah.. Allah is the BEST!
